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Lesson Learned

I think that in life you rarely learn lessons without some work, pain, or turmoil.

The events of the last week and a half have been very interesting, confusing, and enlightening for me.  While I can’t go into detail on them (which seems the case more and more on the blog), I can explain them in a different way.

To understand it, though, I have to go back a bit.

I majored in computer science in college.  For the most part, computer scientists write programs.  A lot of what I do at work now is write programs.  In computer programs, you have a goal, task, or desire in mind.  You write the program.  If it works, you’re done.  If it doesn’t work, you know that you messed up somewhere.  You know to go back, find, and fix the code.  It may take a minute, it may take a day, but you can do it.  You know that it was an error you made that you can fix to get the program to work correctly.  Very clear cut.  Very black and white.  Math is very similar.  You know there is a right answer.  If you don’t get it, you did something wrong.

This way of thinking has always appealed to me.  I like knowing and understanding if something doesn’t work out right, then I know what to change to get it to work right.  I like knowing the reasons things happen or they don’t happen.  This probably is also why I like trivia–but that is very much besides the point.

Because of the fact that I like to understand why things happen the way to they do, it is often very hard for me to understand or accept why things happen the way they do when I can’t understand them.  Kind of like a needle in my mind.

Recently, I had some extremely unusual and weird events unfold with a girl (I guess I should call her a woman)–we’ll call her Amanda.  It led to a rather roller coaster style emotion set.  Ups, downs, you get the idea.  I knew that it wasn’t meant to be with her.  I knew I didn’t want to be with her.  But still, I had trouble not thinking about her.  Very confusing.  Only today do I understand why things happened the way they did.  I needed to learn a lesson in a particular area of my life.  I needed a refresher on how to treat people and WHY to treat them that way.  The events that happened with her gave me a very potent lesson.

Now that I think understand why she was put in my life, I’m much better and not thinking about her.  At least not in the way that makes me feel crappy.  My mind is at ease now that I understand why things happened the way they did. I have learned my lesson.

On a related note, this girl told me (repeatedly) that I think too much.  I will tell you ahead of time that the next few  paragraphs are pretty much just a rant.

Since when did thinking become such a bad thing?  Just because I analyze events, prepare, rehearse, and replay things in my mind to understand them better does not mean I think too much.  Is thinking before you speak such a bad thing?  Is trying to learn from your mistakes such a bad thing?  Is replaying what someone said or did as to better understand such a bad thing?  Is trying to learn about a person or situation so you can understand why the person acts that way a bad thing? I think not.  I think that if more people thought out their actions and the actions of others the world would be a much better place.  So I think before I speak–oh no.  So I try to figure out the best course of action before acting–heaven forbid.  So I try to read between the lines so I can really understand what someone is trying to say–how can I sleep at night?

So I try to understand why someone did the things they do.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Maybe some people can act impulsively or do something and not think about the consequences to others.  Maybe some people can do things and not think about the consequences to themselves.  Maybe some people don’t care why someone else did the things that they did.  Maybe.  But I can’t.  I need to understand things.  I think things through.  I plan.  I analyze.  I think.  And I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  I think it’s a good thing.  I think that thinking is always a good thing.

Maybe the only reason she thinks that I think too much is because she thinks so damn little.

Lesson learned.

What a Weekend

Sometimes I have to walk a fine line with my blog.

I know some people read it.  Some friends, some family, some strangers.  So, I have to be careful what I put up here.  Everyone knows that you can never take back anything you put on the internet, so I have to dance around topics and use creative metaphors.

Oddly enough, my last post was about how life surprises you.  Since then, I have been even more surprised than I was before doing that post.  I have been surprised at the girl that threw herself at me, and I have been surprised in myself and the way I handled it.  I’m not getting into details, but a girl I have a thing for at Wild Country, very much taken, came on to me pretty strong over the weekend.  I surprised myself (in a good way) with how I handled myself and the entire situation.  I know this doesn’t mean much, but when I read through this entry in 5 years, I will get a good laugh out of it.

Very few people get named in here either, but I want to give a shoutout and profound thank you to my good friend Lindsey.  She has a great way of always giving me perspective when I need it the most.

Full Of Surprises

Life is very interesting sometimes.  It is unexpected and surprising when you don’t expect it to be.

Sometimes things go bad when you think they’ll go well.  You think you have something going or you think something’s really gonna happen.  Then you fall flat on your face.  You’re ready to grab something and it goes through your hands like sand.

Other times, you aren’t expecting anything, and something good falls into your lap. You’re expecting nothing and then something happens.

Very interesting…

2008 Wizards In Winter Light o Rama

This is my first time first show. I hope the neighboors don’t mind too much.

Almost Done

I am eager to get my lights going.  Last night I decided I had to get the candy canes going in the front.  I’m doing a triangle pattern. 10 Channels, each connected to 2 candy canes.  I trimmed the candy canes down so it’s easier to see 2 dimensional movement.  I don’t like doing it at night very much, but it’s been so warm, that I had to take advantage of it.

I also got the total of extension cords.  I have a 32 Channel Light o Rama setup.  I’m using every channel.  I’m using only 40ft extension cords from the controllers to the lights.  Some I have end to end.  I’m using a total of 57 of these cords.  It’s about what I expected.  Of course I didn’t realize when I purchased the controllers that I would need this many extension cords.

I’m putting up the last piece on Saturday.  I have to do the gutter run.  After that, I’m done putting up lights and done with extension cords.  Most of the time spent on this has been doing one of two things.  1) Unravelling extension cords 2) Editing my sequences.

I’ve decided to start the show the week of Thanksgiving.  I know some of you out there think you should start using your lights until the day after Thanksgiving.  I would normally agree.  But, Barb pointed out to me today that Thanksgiving is pretty late this year.  So the date I start it on is pretty close to what Thanksgiving normally is.  So, it’s almost the same thing.

President Obama

To no suprise to me, Barack Obama was elected to be the next president yesterday.

I did my part in the democratic process.  I voted in my first presidential election.  I got to Pontiac School (my polling place)  at about 5:20am.  The polls opened at 6–I was 10th in line.  I was out of there by about 6:15.  I went back and slept until it was time for work.

The day was fairly uneventful.  Last night, I did laundry and watched CNN all night.  It was pretty dramatic.  About 10 central time CNN predicted Obama as the next president.  I was in the middle of making myself some hot dogs for a snack.  They kept saying you would look back and remember where you were when he was elected.  Maybe I should have been doing something more cool.

Exterior Illumination

Halloween was on Friday.  I went to Darren and Lisa’s and we watched The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Butterfly Effect.  The first was ok, the second was really good.

The most important part of Halloween for me is the day after.  I can start putting up lights for the show.  I spend a good deal of time putting up lights on Saturday.

My time budgeting has worked pretty well.  I use all of November (until Thanksgiving anyway) to get everything setup and tested.  I figured that the actual setup wouldn’t take that long, but I would probably have to rework some of the show that looked good in the program but not in real life.  I did some testing last night and tonight, and sure enough I am going to have to rework some of the show.  I haven’t had any power problems yet.  I didn’t think I would after my Dad helped me put in some new outlets spread over different breakers.  I don’t have the whole show up yet.  I’m putting off some of it as long as I can because taking care of the leaves is going to be a lot harder around 20 candy canes and 10 extension cords in the middle of the lawn.  It is looking pretty good.  For most part just like I envisioned it.

And, a side note, it appears I fixed Sierra (my guitar’s name) string problem.  I was breaking strings really quickly.  It turns out I had some allen wrench screws crooked on the saddle.  As a result, every downstroke was rubbing the string against a screw.  I think  I fixed it because I didn’t break any strings today.